Ask Sharon: Senior Dating Online

Lorraine, Cleveland, OH

A: If you are single again and wishing for someone to share your life—and you’ve met all of the people in your immediate circle—it may feel sometimes like you are the last single person left on earth.

Here’s the good news: There are more interesting, attractive and available older men out there than you know about. You just haven’t met them.

Online dating and friendship services—whether through web sites where you post a profile, or online personal ads—are not just for young people. More and more, online dating sites are recognizing and making room for the growing number of vibrant single seniors who would love to find love and friendship with a suitable partner. And better yet, there are a growing number of sites that specialize in seniors meeting seniors.

If you are thinking about online dating, here’s a short list of pros and cons to help you decide if it’s right for you:

Pro

• There are Lots of Choices: Not since high school or college will you find such a large number of potential dates and mates in one place. It can be heartening just to know that there are many single seniors out there who would love to find a loving partner.


• It’s Relatively Inexpensive: While there are many free chat rooms and online personal sites, you may want to invest in paying a small fee to meet people who are more serious about meeting a quality partner. Even if you pay $25 to $50 to join, it’s still cheaper than a senior cruise, and you don’t have to leave home.


• Profiles are a Fun Way to Learn About People: Sites that offer space to write personal profiles that include hobbies, special interests, political beliefs, dreams, goals and favorite activities will give you the most accurate idea of what a person is like, and will help you decide if you have enough in common to make a connection. Tip: if someone posted a short profile and clearly put no thought into it, you can expect that kind of communication in real life.


• It’s Easy to Connect: By exchanging email you get to know each other slowly, without the awkwardness that comes with first dates. If you choose to meet, you’ll already know a lot about each other, and that could help you both feel more comfortable.

Con

• Beware of Free Ads: Some sites allow people to post their profiles and respond to others for free, but unfortunately these free sites often attract wierdos or perverts. It’s important to check out the site carefully before you join. Here’s a list of helpful [link] reviews of senior dating sites.


• It Costs Money:Many sites will allow you to view other people’s profiles before joining, so you get an idea of who’s available. But they often charge to let you reply to a profile, and here’s where you need to be careful. Check out the membership dues and rules before you join, especially if you provide a credit card number. Make sure you know exactly how much it will cost, whether you’re signing up for an automatic renewal that will be charged to your credit card, and what you will need to do to quit the site when you’re ready.


• Pictures Can Lie: Photos are often an important component of online profiles. Unfortunately, some people post photos that were taken many years ago, or that are extremely flattering and not very true-to-life. If you remember that he probably doesn’t look as good as his photo, you won’t be disappointed.


• People Can Lie Too: In an effort to get more responses, or in some cases to deliberately mislead, some people lie in their profiles. Don’t believe everything you read—if he sounds too good to be true, he probably is.

If these cons haven’t scared you off, then you may be ready to venture into online senior dating.

For more information on senior dating, see Sex & Romance