Is Online Dating Right for You?

--Ready for Love

A: If you are single again and wishing for someone to share your life—and you’ve met all of the people in your immediate circle—it may feel sometimes like you are the last single person left on earth.

Here’s the good news: There are more interesting, attractive and available older men out there than you know about. You just haven’t met them.

Online dating and online friendship services—whether through online dating web sites where you post a profile, or online dating personal ads—are not just for young people. More and more, online dating sites are recognizing and making room for the growing number of vibrant single seniors who would love to find love and friendship with a suitable partner. And better yet, there are a growing number of online dating sites that specialize in seniors meeting seniors.

If you are thinking about online dating, here’s a short list of pros and cons to help you decide if it’s right for you:

Pro

• Online Dating Offers Lots of Choices: Not since high school or college will you find such a large number of potential dates and mates in one place as you will find on an online dating site. It can be heartening just to know that there are many single seniors out there who would love to find a loving partner.


• Online Dating is Relatively Inexpensive: While there are many free chat rooms and online personal ad sites, you may want to invest in paying a small fee to meet people who are more serious about meeting a quality partner. Even if you pay $25 to $50 to join, an online dating service is still cheaper than a senior cruise, and you don’t have to leave home.


• Online Dating Profiles are a Fun Way to Learn About People: Online dating sites that offer space to write personal profiles which include hobbies, special interests, political beliefs, dreams, goals and favorite activities will give you the most accurate idea of what a person is like, and will help you decide if you have enough in common to make a connection. Tip: if someone posted a short profile and clearly put no thought into it, you can expect that kind of communication in real life.


• Online Dating Makes It Easy to Connect: By exchanging email with your online dating prospects you get to know each other slowly, without the awkwardness that comes with first dates. If you choose to meet, you’ll already know a lot about each other, and that could help you both feel more comfortable.

Con

• Beware of Free Online Dating Ads: Some sites allow people to post their profiles and respond to others for free, but unfortunately these free sites often attract wierdos or perverts. It’s important to check out the site carefully before you join.


• Online Dating Costs Money: Many online dating sites will allow you to view other people’s profiles before joining, so you get an idea of who’s available. But they often charge to let you reply to a profile, and here’s where you need to be careful. Check out the membership dues and rules for each online dating site before you join, especially if you provide a credit card number. Make sure you know exactly how much it will cost, whether you’re signing up for an automatic renewal that will be charged to your credit card, and what you will need to do to quit the online dating site when you’re ready.


• Pictures Can Lie: Photos are often an important component of online dating profiles. Unfortunately, some people post photos that were taken many years ago, or that are extremely flattering and not very true-to-life. If you remind yourself that he probably doesn’t look as good as his photo, you won’t be disappointed.


• People Can Lie Too: In an effort to get more responses, or in some cases to deliberately mislead, some people lie in their online dating profiles. Don’t believe everything you read—if he sounds too good to be true, he probably is.

If these cons haven’t scared you off, then you may be ready to venture into online dating.

Ask Sharon is an advice column for seniors that focuses on coping with aging and its effects on relationships, health, and lifestyles. If you have a question that relates to life in the senior community, please email Sharon.