One of the highlights of living in a senior retiree community is the contests—some weekly, some monthly, and some seasonally. Seasonally is when the snowbirds are here, or when they’re gone.
Darts is one of the winter seasonal contests. Teams are put together for the whole season, and some teams are always together, season after season. They stay that way because they usually win, and because their only opposition is a newly-formed team.
Last year one of the long-standing teams did exceptionally well. So well that there were rumblings that they should have urine tests for steroids. Melvin Greene volunteered to do the urine test because he had once done a urine test 15 years ago in the Army.
The board of directors settled it, voting 6 to 5 against. It was a crazy idea. Of course there was an argument about the results. One member of the board was on the disputed team.
It's wonderful when you have nothing else to do.
Shuffleboard is big—so big, in fact, that they have a dinner at the end of the season. Last year only the three winning teams showed up for the dinner. The rest boycotted it because they believed the top three teams cheated.
Harmony and being retired don’t always go together. Even love is suspect—on one of the winning teams was a woman whose husband was on a loosing team. She had dinner alone.
Only in a Retiree Community: The Ambulance Contest
I run the ambulance contest, and the rules are simple: when an ambulance comes into one of the six residential sections in our retiree community, that section gets one point. If the ambulance takes the patient to the hospital, that’s two points. If the ambulance comes after midnight, it’s two and a half. The hours between 3am and 6am are 3 points.
Someone has to get the paramedic to certify the time, and if he is taking the patient to the hospital. Sometimes the paramedic doesn’t want to bother with signing. We had one patient almost die because the paramedic and my neighbor had a 10-minute argument over signing the points form while the patient was waiting in the ambulance. We had to disqualify that one. Too bad…it was a 4 pointer.
I thought that section was going to burn shuffleboard sticks on my lawn, they were so mad.
Living in an over-55 retiree community is definitely a plus for activities like this. Wouldn’t work in an under-55 one.
Retiree Jerry Guralsky lives in a senior retiree community in central Florida. He can be reached at Blueg8@aol.com.
What's life like in your retiree community? Share your retiree adventures (or misadventures) with Senior Living readers by emailing seniorliving.guide@about.com.
