All over the United States, over 55 or senior communities are springing up. This is a typical town meeting that happens at least twice a month in these senior communities...
"Welcome to the quarterly town meeting here at the Parksville Senior Community. My name is Jack Brown, and I'm your president. Please step up to the microphone, state your name and section, and voice your opinion or complaint. Please keep it short."
"My name is Shirley Keene. We play mahjong almost every night, very late. Can’t we please arrange to have the garbage truck come a little later so we can sleep in?"
"No. Next."
"My name is Joan Iucci. I make a motion that you be removed as president for being rude to Mrs. Keene."
"We're not taking motions. Next."
"My name is Mary Citron. If Mrs. Keene didn’t play so slow we would be done earlier."
"Can we PLEASE get on to more important things? Next."
"My name is Sam Birel, section B. Twice I went to the bar for a cold beer and it was warm. That means two days ruined for me last week. I think a sign should be put up saying WARM BEER TODAY."
"NEXT."
My name is Jack Keene. I make a motion that we close the activity center at 9pm. That way my wife will be home early."
"We're not taking motions. Next."
"My name is Shirley Robinson. My daughter was here last month doing a very natural thing—breastfeeding my granddaughter. She was told in no uncertain terms to leave the pool area. I think breast feeding should not be banned from Parksville."
"Mrs. Robinson, my name is John Lambert. I am a member of the Board and I can assure you that breastfeeding is not banned in Parksville, we just prefe it done more discreetly."
Marvin jumped up and yelled, "All I meant was I come here to swim, not look at breasts."
"Wonderful Marvin, you’re a born diplomat. NEXT."
"My name is Joe Soffer and I resent being sent a reprimand for urinating in the pool. Every one urinates in the pool."
"You're probably right Joe, but not from their lawn chair. Now let's move on to new business. Over the past six months we added three shuffleboard courts and three new groups: The Pros and Cons of Cremation, Living with a Bad Hip, and Exercise for Those with Diabetes.
"Our budget is in fine shape as long as nothing happens for the next six months. We had six families move and eight of our neighbors pass away. We had 85 ambulance calls, one fire call, and a Depends napkin blocked the toilet in the Grand Hall…be careful ladies."
This town meeting is adjourned, good night."
Retiree Jerry Guralsky lives in a senior community in Florida. What's life like in your retiree community? Share your retiree adventures (or misadventures) with Senior Living readers by emailing seniorliving.guide@about.com.
