An increasing number of people in their fifties and sixties are finding themselves caught in a financial and emotional squeeze between two generations—struggling to cope simultaneously with the costs of caring for aging parents and helping their children pay for college or launch careers while funding their own retirement.
Seniors Caring for Aging Parents and Adult Children a New Trend
The demographic trends that are combining to create this new senior-sandwich generation are new. Until recently, the need to at least partially support both aging parents and adult children simply didn’t exist for most people in their fifties and sixties.
Because life spans today are much longer than in years past, an increasing number of retirees or near-retirees have aging parents who require costly nursing home or in-home care. At the same time, many of these same people have children who are still in college or who may return home once or twice after college or between jobs in an effort to get on their feet.
Number of Aging Parents and Dependent Adult Children on the Rise
According to the Journal of Financial Service Professionals, at the beginning of the 20th century between 4% and 7% of people in their sixties had at least one parent still living. Today, that figure is nearly 50%. But that’s only half the story. As recently as 1990, only 25% of young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 lived with their parents. By 2000, the number had grown to 52%—and it’s still rising.
People in their sixties who end up caring for an aging parent often feel they are getting a preview of what they may experience emotionally, physically and financially as they age—and at a time when they are confronting their own mortality more keenly than ever before.
How to Avoid or Cope with the Senior Sandwich
If you’re already in your sixties, or nearly, and feeling the financial squeeze of the senior sandwich, there are still a few things you can do to lower your stress level and increase your peace of mind. You might consider working a little longer, trimming your expenses, and urging your kids to explore every option for college financial aid—especially merit grants or scholarships that neither of you will have to repay after they graduate.
If you’re in your forties or fifties, chances are you have more time to plan and make preparations before you find yourself caught in the senior sandwich. Regardless of your age, however, here are a few steps you can take that may help you manage the needs of your aging parents and adult children without getting squeezed:
- Preserve Your Assets—Don’t raid your retirement savings to pay for your children’s college education or your parents’ long-term care. Your kids can take out student loans if necessary, and you should use your parents own assets to finance their care for as long as possible.
- Plan Ahead—When you’re projecting what kind of income you’ll need in retirement, be sure to plan for the possibility that one or more of your kids may need to come back home for awhile, raising your monthly costs or maybe delaying your plan to move to a smaller home.
- Assess the Situation—As early as possible, talk with your parents about their assets, how they want to live as they age, what kind of health care and lifesaving measures they do or don't want, and who should make legal and medical decisions for them if they are no longer able to handle their own affairs. This may be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation for you and your parents, but answering these questions while there is still time to plan ahead can help you both avoid a lot of problems.
- Get Insurance—Look into the viability of long-term care insurance for your parents and yourself. Whether it is right for you depends on several factors, including the cost of the coverage, how long you might need it, and what kind of benefits you want. If you or your parents eventually require nursing home care, however, long-term care insurance could help offset those asset-draining costs.
- Put Yourself First—Because you’re a conscientious parent and a dutiful child, you may be tempted to put your own needs after those of your aging parents and adult children. Don’t. The only person who can save for your retirement is you. To help your parents and your children, you first have to keep your own financial house in order.
Finally, don't forget that caring for others can be hard on your physical and emotional health as well as your financial well-being. To learn how you can take care of yourself while caring for others, see
Caregiver Support and Caregiver Resources.
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