Online Dating Site Review: eHarmony

eHarmony claims to take the guesswork out of matchmaking by using a scientific approach to help people find not only good matches and potential mates, but soul mates—and it seems to be working.

According to a 2005 Harris Interactive study, 90 eHarmony\ members on average get married every day, and the site is filled with testimonials from happy couples who found love at eHarmony, including couples over 50. On the negative side, readers have complained to me that they felt some discrimination based on their physical appearance. And eHarmony does not allow gay and lesbian members.

eHarmony Overview

Founded in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist and author of books about creating healthy relationships that last, eHarmony was the first online dating site to use psychology and science to assess a potential couple’s compatibility and to match them accordingly.

According to eHarmony, its mission is “to empower people with the knowledge and inspiration needed to grow and strengthen their most important relationships for a lifetime of happiness.” The folks at eharmony say that using research to help people find their “soul mates” works, citing “recent research presented at the American Psychological Society, which found that eHarmony married couples are significantly happier than couples married for a similar length of time who met by other means.”

With 15 million registered members from all 50 U.S. states and 200 countries, and members of every race and religion, eHarmony claims to be building a relationship site that “serves a world community.”

But eHarmony leaves out parts of the world that include same-sex relationships. eHarmony is also unusual in that its membership reportedly includes about twice as many women as men, flipping the more typical ratio found on other dating sites.

How Does eHarmony Work?

eHarmony members begin by filling out a 436-question Relationship Questionnaire that focuses on 29 Key Dimensions of Compatibility—divided into Core Traits such as character, intellect and humor and Vital Attributes such as communication style, conflict resolution and spirituality.

Once eHarmony matches you with people of likely compatibility, you can choose one of two communication options: Guided Communication or Open Communication.

Guided Communication is intended to help you and your matches break the ice without the awkwardness that often accompanies first encounters, and explore some of the issues you consider critical to relationships before becoming emotionally invested in another person. Choosing this option, you will select five multiple-choice “ice breaker” questions for your matches to answer. Next, the eHarmony staff will help you develop your list of “must have” and “can’t stand” qualities for a relationship and a potential partners. You and your match exchange lists to see how they match up. The last Guided Communication step on eHarmony is asking your match some of the difficult issue questions that rarely get discussed early in a relationship.

After you complete Guided Communication, you'll move into Open Communication with your matches, emailing each other through eHarmony's anonymous message system until you're ready to share your personal information and start communicating outside the eHarmony framework.

The Fast Track option skips Guided Communication by using Open Communication with your eharmony matches from the beginning.

How Much Does it Cost to Join eHarmony?

It doesn’t cost anything to fill out the eHarmony questionnaire, receive your Free Personality Profile, and be matched up with prospective partners. You only pay when and if you want to communicate with one or more of your matches. eHarmony offers four subscription rates:

• $59.95 for one month
• $110.85 for three months ($36.95 per month)
• 173.70 for six months ($28.95 per month)
• $251.40 for 12 months ($20.95 per month)

With all four options, the subscription is auto-renewed and charged to your credit card at each new billing period until you cancel your membership.

eHarmony costs more than most other online dating services, but the company defends its price by saying that it is a unique relationship service that helps people find their soul mates and “fall in love for all the right reasons.” According to eHarmony, comparing their prices to those of other online dating sites is an “apples and oranges” comparison.

How Safe is eHarmony?

eHarmony protects the anonymity of its members until they are ready to share personal information with someone they want to know better. The Guided Communication option offers an added layer of protection, allowing you to get to know a match pretty well before every revealing your identity.

eHarmony also offers a page with common sense safety tips for online dating and a special email address where members can report any concerns they have about a match or another member’s conduct.

Bottom line: Use the same caution and common sense with eHarmony that you would in any dating situation when you’re first getting to know someone.

Next page: What are the pros and cons of eHarmony?