From the article: How to Avoid Sandwich Generation Problems
Are you in the sandwich generation--caring for aging parents and your adult children? What tips can you offer others about protecting your finances and emotions while you are caretaking two generations?
Importance of planning early
- I agree with you the importance of planning and discussing early in the game. Longer life expectancies are a fortunate reality and must be accounted for in long range planning. And open discussions with parents regarding their assets and what the future holds is critical. We are in this together and need to work as a team so everyone makes it and stays sane.
- —Guest Dave
Being Sandwiched Isn't for Sissies
- My 87 year old mother was disabled by a stroke about 10 years ago and is showing signs of dementia. She has lived with us (my husband, 17 year old son, and myself) for the past 5 years. In addition to the 17 year old who still lives at home, we have 4 other children, all in their 20's or early thirties, and 7 grandchildren who need us as well. What I can tell you is this: LAUGH A LOT! We've had our share of situations that were absolutely draining and, over time, this can wear you down. I have found that it helps to detach myself a little, look at the situation, and find some humor in what is happening. I also have started a blog, www.sandwichedboomer.com, where I can journal the daily struggles of being in this situation. I think that helps relieve stress as well. Hope this helps!
- —SandwichedBoomer
self-care comes first...
- ...or at least a close second. I encourage my son to spend time with his grandparents; they all benefit from this. Even though my son says he doesn't have the time, he always says he enjoys the visits.
- —Guest Maggie
coping with parents and kids
- I have elderly parents, plus two twenty-something kids who are living at home while they attend grad school. I definitely feel sometimes that I spend a lot of energy on others, so I've started "rethinking" requests. If someone asks for something, I think about whether they could do it for themselves or if I should do it, and we talk about it. Everyone seems to feel more independent this way, and I have more time for activities and down time that help me feel less stressed.
- —Guest Joan